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Tom Brady Cold Expected to Peak on Malingering Monday

February 1, 2015

brady sickHey, I’m trying to fend this thing off, starting with the coffee scampi I’m currently enjoying. Hopefully it’s working for Mr. Brady, too. I’ll follow this up with some garlic oatmeal, and hope for the best. I’ve already been warned about missing work tomorrow. Yep, (Work)Joyce sent this very direct statement to our Social Media Mom and me on Friday, after my little joke about being sick tomorrow:

“I’ll report you both for malingering.”

She’s a toughie, but no boss is buying excuses tomorrow, and this post is for you, not me. We’ve got another 8-14 inches of snow coming overnight here in New England, so I’ll be “working from home” anyway. What about you? If you’re not getting whacked with snow, you’d better figure out your plan to get to work. “SuperBowl Monday” has become a bit of a wink-wink joke, but your company is paying you, so you should probably do something to earn that paycheck. Absenteeism costs businesses a HUGE amounts of money. In this report by SHRM (commissioned by Kronos), “the total cost of paid time off as a percentage of payroll, when accounting for both direct and indirect costs, ranged from 20.9 to 22.1 percent in the U.S., 32.8 to 34.0 percent in Australia, and 36.3 to 38.3 percent in Europe.” Yikes.

So, as a public service, here are my top 3 surefire tips to enjoy the big game, and still make it to work tomorrow:

  1. Don’t get “hammahed.” Really. Just don’t. Nobody likes you all sloppy, anyway.
  2. Don’t eat the clam dip. It’s a stinky roll of the dice.
  3. Don’t be rooting for the Seahawks. Otherwise your depression could be a legit excuse tomorrow.

Let’s go Pats!


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