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There’s no crying in work!

January 15, 2015

No-crying-at-workI’m a cryer. Not a Speaker John Boehner public fountain type of cryer, but a good purge of mental toxins through tears never hurt anyone. We’re people, people. And in a world of intense pressures, crying is coping, but not at work. I can’t recall crying at work, but I sure have a way of making people cry here. Actually, I hope I don’t make anyone cry, but rather they feel comfortable enough with me to do it.

Still, I think Paragon Media’s policy on crying as reported in the Onion is spot on:

DECKERVILLE, MI—In an effort to ensure employees stay focused during business hours, Paragon Media human resources director Patty Clemence sent a company-wide email Tuesday reiterating that any crying done at the office must be work-related, sources confirmed. “All personal crying, such as that stemming from household finances or fights with your spouse, should either be taken care of before you arrive at work in the morning or be put off until after 5 p.m.,” said Clemence, asking that workers limit openly weeping at their desk or in a bathroom stall to job-oriented topics such as benefits, their workload, or a lack of appreciation among colleagues. “Of course, there are some exceptions to these guidelines. For example, if you happen to be crying because work has prevented you from seeing your family this week, that’s a gray area, and you might want to clear it with a supervisor before breaking down completely.” Clemence added that anyone with additional concerns about this rule should feel free to come to her and quietly bawl in her office.

Hey, the Onion is a fake news source. You know that, right? Here are some more of their hilarious takes on HR and the workplace:

While I haven’t cried at work, I know I could go walk into (Work)Joyce’s office and let the river flow. Sure, it might traumatize her worse than me, but the fact I feel comfortable enough to do it is one of the big reasons Kronos works for me. Over the years, I’ve had real relationships with my employees, co-workers, and managers. The same is true for many of my peers. There are good people here. Maybe that’s why we were named the by the Boston Globe as the top large company in Massachusetts to work for in 2014… And maybe that’s why we’re growing at such a healthy pace. We currently have over 170 open positions globally! Come join us, and feel free to cry!

PS – Thanks to Domenic Locapo from our PR team for the idea of using the parody of the Onion in a blog post!

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