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Beer Ban in the Kronos cloud!

June 5, 2013

Beer ban in Kronos cloudSadly, the Kronos cloud will no longer be a place to get a nice cold beer.* Once a small, exclusive club, the Kronos cloud has experienced explosive growth that led Kronos CEO Aron Ain to ban customer beer fridges from the cloud. A saddened Mr. Ain explained the new policy:

“Our cloud customers appreciate that we provide a safe and secure cloud infrastructure, environmental control, a network, and of course electricity. We grew very fast, with customers coming to the cloud in droves. Naturally, some customers brought refrigerators for their beer. With more and more of our customers moving to the cloud, plus that crazy Australian report, we had to act to protect our customers and their Workforce Central systems. I’m hopeful that in spite of this unfortunate action, our hard-working cloud services team will keep customer satisfaction high. The cold reality is that beer doesn’t scale well in the cloud.”

So there it is, and I’m sorry to have to report it. It’s OK, though. Even though you can’t bring beer into the Kronos cloud, you still can enjoy:

  • Leveraged Kronos expertise – It’s our software, and we know how to manage it.
  • Exceptional uptime and reliability
  • Data backup and protection
  • Improved IT agility and productivity as your staff focuses on more strategic initiatives.
  • Minimized compliance risk
  • Software upgrade cost savings
  • Eliminated Hardware refresh costs

Think about it. With one less system to worry about, you can relax a little, and actually have time to go out for a beer.

* This post is a spoof. It’s not real. There never has been beer in the Kronos cloud, but a cloud would probably be a great place to store beer because of the ice crystals…

4 Comments leave one →
  1. June 12, 2013 9:48 am

    So, what is the scoop on the Marguerita Machine? Can we keep that?

  2. June 12, 2013 12:05 pm



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