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Workforce Scheduling and My Christmas Mojo

December 16, 2011

Yesterday I took a v-day with my daughter for some Christmas shopping. We dropped into Tiffany & Co. to shop for… well, shiny stuff for my friend who’s a girl, and after waiting for 15 minutes we walked out. The retailer of fine jewelry didn’t have enough staff to handle their volume and they lost a sale.

Similarly, I heard a recent story on NPR about how mall Santa’s are being coached on how to manage a child’s expectations when something on their Christmas list won’t be delivered. Here’s an excerpt:

“And the little elf that’s making the iPads is an elf named Hermey. And guess what he’s doing? And the child will say, what? He’s playing with them. We’re way behind production. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t think we’re going to be able to fill the iPad orders.”

Clearly, the North Pole operation, once a model of efficiency, has a scheduling and a skills problem:

Hermey? Of course he’s playing with the iPads! All he does is sit on the line and dream of being a dentist! And Buddy? Useless. It’s a dirty little secret among the Elves union that he’s a cotton-headed ninny-muggins. There, I spilled it. Anyway, unless Santa Baby gets the right talent in place and schedules it according to his workload, many kids will be disappointed this year and for years to come. By the way, big fella, check out Workforce Scheduler to solve that particular problem. Trust me, you’re going to have your hands full when Mrs. Claus sees your schedule had an extended stop at the “K. Kardashian” residence on Christmas Eve. And yes, the elves can use their iPhones for self-scheduling, swapping and all that stuff. Oh, and will you please get Hermey and Buddy into the EAP?

As for she who shall not be named… Well, she claims she’s been an “awful good girl” and an “angel all year.” I have to agree, but I’m not saying if I went back to Tiffany’s.

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